Reasons and Prevention of Divorce
Common Marital Problems and How to Prevent them from Happening
Islam allows but detests divorce, yet it is on the rise globally. Find out the common causes of marital breakdown and simple ways to avoid a strained relationship.
Strained marriages tend lead to divorce creating an unfortunate exponential growth of marital breakdowns in today’s century, which is rather devastating. Divorces lead to a whole set of different problems – and within a household, negative effects on children are inevitable.
Divorce in Islam is described as the most hated permissible thing Allah (SWT) has ordained. Marriage is the first brick of building a family, a strong representation of society’s cornerstone. Unfortunately, due to various reasons that arise from the stressful environment we live in, divorce is becoming a common daily feature.
Understanding the main reasons for termination of marriage could help couples work on preventing the tiniest hint of a marital bump, should one trip up in the way of their marital journey. Together, they are advised to proactively look out for problems that could lead to strain within their marriage.
Money problems
Everyone can relate to money problems. It can make the world go round yet stubbornly stems itself as the root of all evil. With continuous inflation as well as growing wants and needs and a limited budget to satisfy them, money is a motivating advocate for marital problems.
Islam requires separate accounts for spouses to guard the lines of spending. A woman’s income and savings are not property of her husband regardless of her career choice or inheritance. Therefore, there is a blessing when a husband takes responsibility to provide for her. Sometimes however, this is not always possible and the need to share does arise. Love and kindness should overcome the problem of “who spends what” and “who buys what.”
Additionally, indulgences and miserliness are both frowned upon – both spending habits will inevitably cause a strain on the marriage. It is vital for couples to spend in accordance to their income to fulfill the necessity for a comfortable life.
Most of all, open lines of communication with respects to financial concerns is needed for a marriage to flourish. Constant worrying, lying and burying of problems will lead to misunderstandings and bickering that distances husbands from wives and vice versa. There is always a need for cooperation and team work to overcome money troubles. With a little budgeting and wise spending from the beginning of marriage, couples run a low risk of financial difficulty in the future.
The Extra Marital Affair
Infidelity is difficult to forgive. Not many couples may return to the marital route once adultery has been meshed into the marriage’s history. The realm of divorce is spanned wide open once loyalty dissolves into thin air. Preventing infidelity is possible by curbing the possibility of an affair and by focusing seriously on the marriage at hand.
Men and women are required to observe appropriate conduct when in the presence of the opposite gender. Guarding one’s modesty is important, eliminating susceptibility of the casual fling.
Affairs are usually conducted by those who are bored of the monotony of marriage. An affair provides opportunity for fun and excitement which is absent at home. People like this are usually too quick to judge their spouse’s flaws rather than appreciate their unique beauty and strengths. Therefore, it is always important to look at what there is to love in your spouse rather than what there is to dislike!
On the flip side, couples are also to fulfill their spouse’s expectations to the best their ability. An important example is beautifying yourself for your spouse. Keeping up with expectations requires sturdy communication. Lines of communication allow couples to click socially, mentally and sexually so couples are reminded of their rights and responsibilities towards each other.
Prioritizing other commitments over marriage
When the honeymoon dries over, there are those who may begin to take their spouse for granted, assuming that he or she will always be there through thick and thin. Commitment towards marriage deflates and priorities for other relationships take pinnacle.
Careers, hobbies and interests, friends, social commitments, children and even parents are just the few commitments that can overshadow the importance of marriage. Being overly attached to any one of these commitments and neglecting the marital home is the basis for feeling unappreciated, disrespected, unloved and detached.
It is important that couples work on the marital bond, making it stronger than their personal relationships with other people – even with their own parents. Strengthening the marital bond is not a one time engine service, but an ongoing process that takes bumps, slides and turns in stride.
Once again, communication is the back bone of a healthy marriage, requiring active listening and the security and comfort to express one’s feelings and / or concerns.
