Visitng a New Mum
Some Mindful Tips To Reduce Anxiety and Stress in New Mothers
The next time you visit a new mum and her baby, bear these tips in mind! Tthey will reduce new mum's stress and anxiety in coping with the first weeks of motherhood.
In many cultures, it goes against the seed of manners to not visit a newborn and his or her mother. Especially in Islamic tradition where an affordable feast is thrown to celebrate the arrival of a newborn, it is not unusual to see guests flocking to visit the new baby and his or her mother.
Whether it is for well wishes or due to pure excitement, new born babies have a natural magnetic force that attracts family, friends, neighbours and colleagues to the scene. Many marvel at the sight of complete and utter innocence wrapped up in a bundle of wails or milk-induced serenity.
Though a newborn’s concoction of charms may subdue his or her visitors to melting oblivion, many forget that the new mother may also run the risk of a meltdown. Frazzled with fatigue after laborious hours leading up to birth, a new mum is a cocoon of anxiety having to look after her new born child.
Here are some ways we can visit the newly acquainted couple and at the same time alleviate any impending stress upon new mum.
Bring her a hot meal, a healthy snack or a flask of milk
A lactating mother has to eat well in order to provide enough nutrients for herself and her baby to last throughout the day and night. New mums however, have the tendency to skip meals, prioritizing their child’s needs before theirs.
Keeping this in mind when visiting her - a casserole, a tupperware or a bowl filled with a healthy meal would always be appreciated. Ready-made meals and / or healthy snacks cut down time in the kitchen translating into more time with baby.
If you share a close relationship with the new mum, consider making a meal for her in her kitchen – this way she will have company and something to eat at the same time.
Help tidy up the house
Housework also hits the bottom of a new mum’s priority list. Do not be surprised at the gathers of dust or piles of plates in the kitchen sink. Housework is an energy-straining chore and is normally left to its own devices – accumulating.
Instead of clucking or shaking your head to and fro from clutter to clutter, help out with the tidying-up. It can be as simple as washing up in the kitchen, sweeping the floor or folding clothes. This would definitely take the burden off a sleep-deprived new mother.
Check in with the baby routine
Everyone wants to carry the baby. Babies are meant to be cuddled and played with – however, be mindful of the baby’s schedule, since it usually correlates with mum’s schedule.
If you have volunteered to baby sit while mum takes a rest, respect her wishes to keep to a schedule that is amiable to her. The last thing she needs when you leave is to be stuck with a baby who wants to stay awake at night or is overly stimulated.
Baby sitting will help mum take a short break, but keep her interests in mind before taking over completely.
Be mindful of her baby’s siblings
Siblings are a different demographic prone to melt-down, especially if they are young and still pine for their mother’s attention. Acknowledge baby’s siblings first, before rushing over to the new bundle of joy. This would help mitigate any strains of jealousy and resentment.
Distracting them by entertaining of playing with them will reduce new mum’s stress and help her focus on the latest addition to her family. However, the rule of sticking to their schedule also applies here. Mum does not need over-stimulated toddlers on the brink of crankiness nor does she need any other night-owls hooting around the house.
Leave quickly
If you are not planning to camp out through the night with new mum or continue to help out around the house, it is probably best to leave quickly. Hanging around will turn you into an obligation. New mum and dad would feel obliged to provide meals, mindless chit chat and continuous attention to their visitors, no matter how undemanding you may be.
Respect their right for privacy as well as any possibly salvaged peace and quiet with a baby around.
New mums will always appreciate friends, family, neighbours and colleagues who come to visit - especially those who genuinely wish to help with her adjustments to living with a new baby.
